North to the South of France by road bike : cheese, sweat and Kilometres.

Never done anything like this before. Seven days to cross a country: France. Starting from Brest in the North and finishing 10km from Perpignon on the south coast. An open stretch of beach a cross between Miami and Palmanova ( in Mallorca) called Canet Plage.

The adventure began when I bumped into a cycling friend who happened to mention he was doing this cycle and I asked if I could join. Yes of course - he said - and immediately I was filled with excitement .

It has always been a dream of mine to go on bike travel holidays I love road biking, exercise, adventure and travel and I don’t particularly enjoy lying on beaches and being idle.

I can’t do road biking holidays alone - I prefer to share experiences, I am rubbish with navigation and route planing and I get lost, even in the places I know and have been to before, so much so that I am the brunt of family jokes along side my mother! ( who is even worse than me !).

Cycling package holidays are too expensive and I have only been able to afford one once - to Solvang in the US - yes exactly !!!! No one even knows where it is!

This trip came around quickly so much so that I felt completely undertrained and unprepared.

I had done La Bola (Mallorca´s highest climb) back in March - which was a hard up hill grind - and I was also feeling insufficiently trained for this. The 167km ( part of the mallorca 312km) in April in which I felt very strong.

“I would be fine” . I kept telling myself - I’m resilient , I have a history of endurance events under my belt and I am good at suffering.

A few weeks out I was feeling incredibly anxious. I never want to let anyone down or disappoint . I hate being the one at the back of the riding pack struggling to keep up and if I am not riding at the front of the pack then I am not comfortable .

Before leaving I told my mum : Moogie : I just don’t want to be the one who draws attention, complains or makes a fuss……

The thing about biking is, it is complex . It is not just about your fitness level, it is a combination of  avoiding injury, evading a bike breakdown, dealing with adverse weather conditions  : strong winds, pelting rain, cold, heat etc. ( all of which we experienced).

Getting lost, getting tired, getting on each others nerves!

Pushing humans through endurance events tests your response under pressure. I am actually pretty balanced, having had a fair amount of experience in endurance competitions but I have been party to some meltdowns from others.

It’s fairly similar to being in a war zone: tempers fly and all rationale goes out of the window!

A hungry, thirsty , tired man who is lost and in a pain cave without a glimpse of an escape route can make for a pretty scary feeling of no mans land. The result is complete pandemonium !

We arrived and started from Brest. Excited and nervous and meeting new people. I felt as though everyone knew everyone else more than I knew anyone .

Ed (rider number 1) who donated his work van which delivered our bikes and bags to the start from Mallorca and from hotel to hotel en route, providing back up for mechanicals , water and the best tuck shop ever !!!!

Ed, a very successful Entrepreneur, very kind and caring , great at looking after people - he did swear at me a few times - but I probably deserved it. He is also in his 60’s so a blinding effort undertaking this adventure.

Ed goes out with Claire. Rider Number 2. Claire is also friends with Hamish ( Rider 3) and Christopher ( Van driver and photographer @skollscholey)

Claire is gorgeous both inside and out. Great organisational  skills and loves structure, like planed coffee stops.

Hamish Rider 3. ( by the way the riders are not done in any particular order other than relevance to the preceding paragraph.)

To say everyone loves Hamish would be an understatement. He is such a people person and very good with it. If someone did not get on with Hamish I would be highly suspicious of their character

Hamish knew everyone . He is always so well connected. I am not sure if he had met Phin previously - Rder 4.

Phin Robinson an exceptional character level headed, funny and mind blowingly successful on a different level.

He runs an enormous chain of physiotherapy clinics in the UK .

He bought us all some very expensive meals, contributed considerable funds towards van fuel and the van tuck shop and had us all in stitches with his very sharp Northern humour.

He also accompanied me to the bike shop @cyclesfeutrier when my gears broke and I was pretty broken emotionally.

I was worried the team would be naffed off with me for delaying  them and I was also very anxious about finding the bike shop - since I got lost on the way to their ( Phin, Gael and Christian´s ) hotel even though it was around the corner from mine. Hopeless!!!

I rode up front with Phin the whole trip so I got very intimate  with his calf muscles.

He has done many of these type of endurance feats and remains the same level headed Phin throughout.

Phin rode with Gael ( Rider 5) from Lands end to John O´Groates previously. Gael knew everyone except Hamish´s nephew Nick. Gael is half French and half Welsh and he and his French father Christian planned the trip.

For this I am truly grateful- planning routes and hotels is a real mine field and I am sure it took a lot of time and head scratching .

Gael makes brilliant videos and I was to find out can bust a few moves to dance music . Not to be confused with someone who might have spent too long on the bike?

Christian ( Rider 6) Gaels father. I could just write “French” and we might understand one another ? Incredibly “ brave” tackling traffic, roundabouts, intersections and traffic lights without fear.

Always keen to get the group started in the morning and going again after stops. Incredibly strong on the bike and over 70. He’s a windsurfer, sailor , skier, hiker and from what i can tell never sits still. He was also integral to route planing so again a huge thank you here.

Nick ( Rider 7) saving the best until last . Poor Nick - I thought his name was Chris until about half way through the holiday … I like nicknames so I called him Yank (being American)

To say he is a character would be a huge understatement . Quirky, eccentric, knowledgeable …. he fixed my bike at one point - very kind and interesting to chat to.

He is Hamish’s nephew. He knew Christopher previously but I am not sure he had met anyone else-besides Hamish. ( obviously )

Rider 8 Me.

I describe myself as a cap wearer. A different cap depending on who I am with.

I am gregarious by nature but can verge on being “too much” for some people - too much Tiger and not enough Eyore.

I love "banter" whilst "biking" and some might call me "brash"! ( I am pinching Christophers style of using three adjectives in a sentence Nick !)

Christopher ( Driver 1 and photographer ) Looking forward to seeing the end result of the pictures and film taken.

Would have struggled  without him and the tuck shop in the back of the van. An excellent  luggage courier service  provided even down to hospital visits at 1am when Hamish came off his bike on the canal . A disastrous tumble but Hamish simply jumped back on and kept on riding - with a massively swollen hand and very bruised ribs.

Driver 2 Angie . Last but definitely not least. A total head-turner with a killer smile. We definitely could have not had a prettier driver!

Angie just brightened everything up and gave the boys something to look forward to seeing .

The days of the bike trip merged into one . Beautiful Brittany with seemingly no inhabitants, the canals were very memorable that’s for sure - I think we made at least 60km along them and had three punctures and a broken wheel. The beautiful fields of sunflowers and picturesque French villages, bridges and on the whole gorgeous rolling roads.

The patisseries of the South which put back on all the calories we had burnt off with riding .

The gentle climb into the Pyrenees and its incredible descent .

Brake failure, a crash , gravel grazes and dicey situations which all turned out ok in the end. (me) !!!!!

Camaraderie, team spirit and a lovely cool panache (French for shandy) at the end of the ride.

Personally had it not been for a broken bike I could have kept on riding.

I just want to do it all again !!!!!! But in another country .

Fuckydar!!!!

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